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jarrod's picture
Submitted by jarrod on Mon, 30/05/2016 - 20:51

I am just a poor boy and my story's seldom told. Just like Natasha, I was having a bit of trouble saying what I mean, with dead poets and drum machines. All these words both others and mine, are from my heart cryin'.

This website has evolved from non eidetic thinkers imposing their inferior logic upon me to the point of torture. Although the worst of the torure has passed, I consider this work to be an important monument. It is a journey through anger and out the other side. I do well at defeating my own personal Moriarti(devil)! This crisis I have been forced through meant it took longer for me defeat shorty than usual. It originally started as an attempt to maintain a career as illness saw me become an unreliable IT systems engineer. My salesman/boss was unable to function correctly without my skills long enough to allow me to recover from accidentally chemically burning my sinuses. This tragic event caused me to lose two stone from thirteen and a half down to eleven and a half stone in less than two months! At six foot five, this is weight I could not afford to lose. I should be thirteen stone two minimum for my height! The company was a small business and seemingly the other people working for it were unable to Google to find out whatever was needed to cater to the whims of its customers.

My home was taken from me at the same time as I have never liked money and was renting one. The owner could not afford a plumber apparently to fix a leak that was devaluing the property. I actually believe the letting agents, Leaders were applying pressure as the decor' meant they could not increase the rent!
The only choice of affordable property for me by the deadline was one that has a shared kitchen with six other households! I do not understand how this is considered Ok for anyone, let alone me an Asperger patient whose coping mechanisms rely on the stock levels of consumption. How on earth is seven households supposed to cook two or three meals a day in only one kitchen anyway? It is not Ok for people to live somewhere where they cannot feed themselves properly! The others that live there also hate it!
They too are not wealthy and steal from the said kitchen. This interferes with my coping mechanisms and unsurprisingly as a result I was failing to cope. I am good at cooking, very good, but MS makes movement difficult for me. As an Aspie my cooking is precise, an inability to get to the sink at exactly the right time for instance, because there are others to move around will ruin the food! Make it imperfect! I am unable to compete with others testosterone and just like Joe in "The A Word", I have to let them go first. My age and medical condition of course puts me somewhere between uncle Eddy's intensity and granddad's panic, with uncle Eddy's horrible wife's brutal honesty! Damn... One Moriarti. I now have a kitchen that I am rebuilding my coping mechanisms in, :-) thanks to all involved in getting me what I need, my princess and the key council workers. You know who you are. :-) I was unable to try to get what I need, I was unable to function. Now I am near my dear little brother. From my heart, thank you all so much. Can you get me what I want now and convince mankind to get rid of money? :-D he he Cheeky I know. I gotta 'aggle... Arthur's work alerted me to being ahead of my time :-) My desire for NOW is so huge.

I was angry, annoyingly! You people insist you are superior in knowledge and understanding of the world yet not being able to feed myself properly is Ok with you! WTF? I am gaining back my cheery disposition that I like, that you like. To quote another ASD sufferer with an adapted Ali G quote; Is it? Is it 'cause I is autistic :-D he he My whole life has seen me oppressed by inferior logic, I will not be the only one! You are surprised that radicalisation is increasing in popularity, I am not. The combination of anger caused by oppression and a lack of knowledge is a deadly cocktail. Not enough people are aware that harm to others is harm to oneself, we should be reaching out and helping all people, no matter their wealth or status. Education should be free to all of any age, any status, please change this now! It will prevent radicalisation I guarantee. Foreign aid that we do owe for past shame and exploitation, should be delivered as education infrastructures, not the exploitable money! Educating people around the world will eradicate the feelings of inequality that lead to radical actions. This should be our foreign AID! Our remit.

If there is any word or line in this word sculpture you do not understand, please Google it. I am not the BBC! I can endorse brand names if I want. I do not on the whole because I hate greed but Google are an exception. Back when it looked like Altavista were going to become the Heinz of search engines, I was using many different search engines to find education. Google technologies came along and I like many techies were saved tedium.

Do you know what the word civil really means? Please look it up. The denser we populate the more civil we, I included, need to become. We will swarm if we keep trying to beat each other! It is not everyone for themselves, it is all for all. Please learn? We are all flawed, so summit what! We can learn, learn like our existence depends on it. It actually does!

This word sculpture served as a sort of replacement coping mechanism(lots of words to keep track of :-) whilst I could not feed myself properly, it is my sincere hope that it will educate some of you as you are torturing people that have a much greater understanding of the world than you will ever have. ASD sufferers coping mechanisms help us cope with all of the extra information we are constantly in receipt of. Just because you are not it gives you the right to interfere or even deny us these mechanisms? Selfish of you, please change! We are cheery and make you laugh when our coping mechanisms are working. Autism and Asperger syndrome are the same thing, the difference appears to be that us Aspie's are able to file and index all of the huge amount of information, non Asperger autistics cannot. However a non Aspie autistic can become an Aspie given the right conditions. I believe just as us Aspie's know to shut the FFF up when offence is risking physical harm that regular autistics are merely taking this to extreme! A kind of locked in syndrome. I did not speak when I was very young, but not because I did not understand your simple language, it was because if I spoke it increased your anxieties and exposed me to even more of your tense for me to be in! Aspie's in general have suffered a childhood trauma that forces them to come out of the locked in. That is the difference.

Our hearing is superior, part of the extra information. We can also sense the chemicals our moods emit, I hate phones for this reason! I am deprived of this information over a phone. The phone does not transmit the chemicals obviously and it is poor quality audio! No smells are transmitted either. Prior to my eyesight deterioration from MS, and just like Sherlock. I could spot all of the tiny clues on your clothes, skin and hair that reveals where you have been! For a phone conversation to go smoothly for the other person, they require me to make instant decisions based on not enough information! That makes me feel manipulated! Our generosity makes us exploitable by greedy people. Those people like phones for that reason, they get what they want! Face to face they would not. Not from me.

I have taken back up smoking as the consumption of Rizlas has been my primary coping mechanism for many years. I get forty eight roaches from the cardboard of a Rizla packet meaning I know at all times exactly how many Rizlas I have left. I get six from the inner green cardboard and forty two from the outer blue cardboard :-D It amuses me that my roach system, in part is the answer to life, the universe and everything. And of course there is Zippo fuel and flints to control the consumption of. You wrongly are attributing smoking to the problems caused by oil based fumes we are all exposed to! Says me sucking down oil fumes every time I light a cigarette! :-D It is however the reason I notice after two days of not lighting cigarettes, we are ingesting a lot of oil. We are all flawed, so summit what...

The first three pages, along with the left hand menu were written once I had relieved my employer of paying me as I was ill! Sort of shouldn't happen should it, especially after over ten years of loyal service but my boss had lost money my skills made on a ludicrous property venture in Portugal. I have always been too brutally honest to be socially acceptable. The fourth page (Ban cars smoking) is an attempt to make you see sense on what is blatantly the cause of major health problems around the world. Cigarette smoking is wrongly being blamed for the oil based poisons we are all breathing! The fifth page (I am autistic) was the start of my anger that is subsiding now. It has not been edited linearly as I am able to keep track of all the words in this sculpture. I am leaving the words here as the whole site is imparting knowledge that will save the world once you realise it is your greed that is destroying mankind. Money was invented to control greed but it is now the object of greed! Cash and unrecorded transactions should definitely be scrapped, it is not an eradication of personal liberty to do this. It would reduce the amount of crime possible. It would prevent the rich exploiting the poor too! The rich, poor divide will lessen, will become more honourable, more honest.

There are English language imperfections, some of them deliberate, some caused by impaired vision, MS attacks optical nerves along with the rest of the nerve endings. English was not my favourite subject during the small amount of formal education you allowed me to have! Maths was :-D Some are ignorance too Bill, I am truly sorry for that. Without the rules of spelling and grammar it cannot be abused, long live the grammar.

Deliberate language error examples:
"Everything beggining Euro sounds trashy." This eludes to tighter regulated countries in the EU, such as us, the UK, will be picking up the bill for countries whose greedy residents exploited their lack of regulation. Their governments are poor! We will have to bail them out, when they come begging!
As you can see, a lot less words for one spelling error. :-)
If I take the U out of honourable, the honour becomes somewhat dubious! :-D I am not American! I am not using spell checkers dominated by Silicon valley pirates either. ;-)
I have also removed a syllable from the word voluntary to make it protest march singable! I really do not like the legal extortion money collection that funds the BBC. We are all proud of the BBC and most people will pay voluntarily! Can we choose not to watch the BBC if we go to prison for not paying? I seriously doubt it! If you encrypt the signal it is not TV for the people, just double the fee to buffer the poorest that truly cannot afford it. The quality education materials your programmes provide is highly valuable! Even though the propaganda of your media services, you are not yet getting right. We are all flawed! So summit what!
I do also refrain from using the term "European Union" to describe the trade organisation. I consider this term to be too much of an oxymoron on the basis of from it's outset, it caused division!

It is full of emotions that us Aspie's do struggle to understand as everything went at once. My home, my job and my girl! It is my hope that this word sculpture will aid understanding of autism as well as save the world from its greed. Before we swarm! Are you aware yet of how mental health is rapidly deteriorating? Most obvious during the new moon! Part of the extra information I am in constant receipt of. My eyesight degradation may be directly responsible for being able to communicate in writing what is happening to me. I am in receipt of less information than I have been all my life.

Recommended viewing:

BBC productions:

The A word

Other productions:

House MD


The Imitation Game
Snow Cake
Jacob's Ladder
And of course, all Monty Python movies

12/10/2016 I have decided to end the snapshot of an autistics head before the result of the American elections. Seeing as I consider that a lose/lose situation my anxieties will go through the roof! Just one request and one emplore to go. First the request; can people stop believing they are clever by mispronouncing both of my medical conditions? Hans Asperger was Austrian, his name is pronounced of German origin, not French! Multiple Sclerosis is trendily being pronounced as a Scot would because we had a Scottish prime minister (Gordon Brown) come on television to discuss MS. This was because the petition that our campaigning for CCSVI treatment saw the legally required number of signatures for response. You would not say sklerosis of the liver would you? It is the same word! My last emplore: To the entire International community I emplore; Please can we all sort out our own backyard before we tell others how they should be sorting theirs? Enforcing pathological demands on others causes conflict. We do know this, please stop pretending not to see the horror and death at the end of these demands?
I have to add because of Teflon society, some modified immortal Kid Rock lyrics:
I aint' no rough guy, aint' no tough guy, I do get out and I certainly enjoy dressing fly, I've been around, seen some things, I've slept in dumpsters, got high with kings. They say I'm cocky...
It was after all, just my life to me, I'm bloody right idiots! :-D Wake up! PLEASE?
There is a line I know from the mind of Colin Dexter in an episode of Lewis that I wish to expand on, seeing as calvery means good priest it may be religous! Once again I am not religous! Good/Evil exists within us!
On the road to calvery, in the garden of gethsemane I lost my way.
For what it's worth you cannot leave the garden without dying! Everyone alive has lost their way. I am endeavouring to be good, tis áll I can do. I can see the exit and like a flippin' hippy I am camped near it. Do you see me? Yet?
PS Do remember there are 195 other countries in the world, not just 27. The pound is falling in value because we are printing money! (quantative easing.) This is the primary cause not Brexit, lying bankers! Brexit is causing an expected temporary dip is all. Not anti-Brexit biased BBC's claims either! I do not understand why the BBC is anti-Brexit biased. Only Scotland voted to remain not England or Wales. Call yourselves SBC if you reckon that is what Britain wants. I would like you to remain British, why are you pushing against the people you serve?

15/10/2016 I feel I need to inform you all this sculpture is deliberately fractal shaped. Fractals are digitally enginereed to look organic but they are not really. It has many beginnings that lead to multiple ends and vice versa. I also wish to explain that I will keep updated my progress with the collaboration client. Right now I am still in temporary accomadation where I am not free to live. Lots of silly rules in case I am a blagging teenager just dodgin' ! At forty four now I am too old for that, plus I am quite ill. I hate chaos but I am being forced through some because society thinks I am not clever, after all I have refused to be greedy throughout my life and collect money. Shallow of society, shame on you! I will also keep updated my progress at recovering from MS. This has been delayed by chaos but I do only consider this a delay. I am unable to mind trick myself right now but this will not be true hopefully soon... I will of course answer any questions via comments or email. I also reserve the right to post my own comments, if I want :-)

PS If you are using the translate feature there will be things that are not translated correctly. This is because I have leveraged colloquial English language. The word "summit" for instance, when spoken, sounds like a colloquial version of "something." The title "N Light Summit" when leveraging spoken colloquial language, therefore equals "enlightenment."


For truly propaganda free news see

I also find RT available on your telly to be free of corporate influence on the whole. Take a look, it will open your eyes. Do not be nervous that RT stands for Russia Today. Its closest political ties for the version broadcast here in the UK is the USA and even that as Russian distrust plays a part, is close to non existent. A TV channel is expensive so there is some corporate influence, but trust me this really is minimal.
It has been accused of misinformation by Ofcom in the past but the editorial programmes responsible were axed as a result. You can be assured in the knowledge that Ofcom is keeping a watchful eye. Besides, like me you can verify any information from other sources! I do this for all media.

Today it would appear that money is going to stop the world going round!
One more step closer to world war three.
The BBC are telling us that if we want our news in Russian we can go to a BBC website. I don't want my news in Russian! I don't know their language! I want access to the Russian perspective is all, preferably the Chinese perspective too. Why are we tolerating the restrictions imposed by our propaganda?
Why is our nation/establishment not seeing it can no longer pull the wool over our eyes? Freedom of information is already happening, we are in the IT revolution after all. Only 62 people own half of the worlds wealth, is that why?
To make this comment less cryptic, today, RT's bank accounts in the UK have been frozen!
To add my own cryptic relevant to this sculpture copied from Morse; around Eve, my lifes effort.
Wake up people! Now! We need to be good.
To Russia I emplore; make your perspective easily available in English any way you can. It is easy now :-)

Recently a baker in Northern Ireland had an appeal rejected after being sued for not providing a cake that supported same sex marriage. An important element to this legal decision was that the baker could not refuse to provide a service just because it did not match their own religious or political beliefs.
I did not miss that Natwesst's legal team had told them not to provide a reason for denying their bank services to RT this mid December. I ask this then; if the baker had not provided a reason for denying their cake decoration service to the same sex couple, would they have got away with discrimination?

The more I let this sculpture go round and round in my head the more apparent it is that I sound naive when it comes to Russian matters. I am not. We all know that Russia`s governmental systems are corrupt. They have come from communism, a system where absolute power, corrupts absolutely. The Russian people have only seen benefit from leaders with an iron fist. A person capable of being a bigger bully than those around them in their system of government. The average Russian people are hard working and genuinely generous, no surprise there. If you look at Vladimir`s approval rating, you will see it is huge. The Russian people like all of us suffers from greed. It is however on the road to calvery.
We need only to guide them in the importance of sovereignty and respect, over politicians` pay grade, of an independant judiciary. Vladimir is doing a good job of the cards he has to play with, let us guide them gently on their road to calvery. They have the Internet and everything too now. Slowly, slowly, catch a monkey.

I feel it important I explain one of the things I have experienced; After spending a night in luxury, (I was wearing a modified Spanish Peña cloak with a self embroided lightening streak through a circle on the back, hood cut off and again self modified leather collar. Army surplus boots, splayed as a new age traveller does and a hat that Dylan taught me was important :-) you know who you are kings! I still dig the self correcting watch incidentally :-) I was on the road again, I got pulled by a Gendarme that was looking to arrest me. I told him I was walking the coast of Europe, he insisted I could not be on "the island" (Monaco, so not an island really!) without any money, and asked me how I survived. Seeing as I had just spent a great evening and night with wealthy people that I got high with and ate well, who would not be happy with me telling the cops :-D I simply told him things happen, oppurtunities arrive. With that he insisted on escorting me off the island! On the way off he was distracted by a lorry driver seeking directions. I took the opportunity to duck down an alleyway and escape him. The alley had a dog leg so I jumped over a wall and waited for the pounding of police boots to end. After that I was worried about arrest but I found the railway. Seeing as their are no police patrol trains I chose this as an escape route. After walking a way, a tunnel appeared and as a relatively claustrophobic person, I was about to U-turn when workers on the upper bank I had not seen cheered me on. I braved the tunnel and my fears, to appear at a station on the French side of the island. :-D I proudly walked up the platform past jaw dropped onlookers and exited the station. Once in private I laughed the hardest I have ever laughed.
I have travelled extensively around Europe on 12 month passports (you used to be able to buy these at post offices.) They were usually expired by the time I got back but hey, ho, I am back now :-D I seemingly survived with ease the no passaporte, si passaporte conversations with confused foreign coppers :-) Those were the days :-D
Am I worried about revealing my then image? Nah, I aint' hidin' from nobody, nobody hiding from me. Aah, that's the way it's supposed to be!
Anyone recocnising me feel free to contact me. Maybe your turn to cook? :-D I know you all love chicken curry :-D he he
PS I am sorry Spanish people I incorrectly embroidered "el brisa" as opposed to la brisa on the cloak you gifted me. It made sense to me to make it masculine not feminine. I did learn, can you forgive an ignorant Brit? I hope so, I never requested ketchup! My next reincarnation is booked in your country if I get to choose... Todo el amor pueden España xxX

The mood of the world is not anti establishment. The people do not feel left behind. The people feel that the establishment's been left behind. Simple example, by way of a question:
Only 62 people in the world own half of the worlds wealth.
How did this happen?
We know money is a pyramid scheme, we also know it is establishments job to ensure this pyramid scheme has many pyramids! Most people just want comfortable, not too much hardship, is all.
And why on earth are we insistent on forcing the consumer to adapt to the products? Greedy producers/suppliers get to be irresponsible and not police themselves in their quest for money. Then the taxpayer has to pay to adapt consumers with restrictions of freedom. Please wake up people.

Why do in work benefits even exist? Why are wages so low that in work benefits are required? Why does the establishment not fix this? Anyone working forty hours a week should not need benefits, it should pay enough to support a couple with two children. Simple.
An uncomplicated income tax ratio for less children or single, again simple.
From the employers perspective; If your business would not be viable paying staff fairly, then your business is not viable. I have a four word strategy for you. Grow, shrink or die. Any concept of a business too big to fail is a misnomer.

I keep hearing media commentators say we are living in a post truth era, he he, you are having a laugh right?
We are just getting started :-)

Welcome to the information technology revolution.

I have decided to remove the spam links that I left as a sign of the times as part of this sculpture. I will not be removing or editing my reply to the original indirect sales spam attempts. My decision has been made as it is making too many people think I am happy to leave spam intact, I am not. My decision is well considered and final.

I like to sing and dance alot,
many people like to spam alot,
`tis a silly place, the court of Camelot.

Besides, dancing is risky for me now, let us not go there :-D
I qualify for the ministry of silly walks now, shall I go instead where?

Shal I ... just ... singStop that! :-D he he
Still not inclined to resign to maturity :-)