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I am autistic, I have awoken.

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Submitted by jarrod on Mon, 04/01/2016 - 14:52
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This stuff is happening to me all of the time over and over! I am still alive, between you and me I always survive a fall. Sherlock is taller than Moriarti. If it comes down to hand to hand combat, a duel, Shorty is water bound for certain! :-D

To fans of the lonely island: I'm on a boat :-D he he

I sort of talk to dead and fictional people in my writings as if they are still here, as if they were real. Not because I believe they are! They are more intelligent than most is all. Can you engage my enthusiasm? Or should you just simply tell me the truth? I do not care for reputation! Reputation is usually a lie, unless you are dead or fictional! Why are you lying? Why do we have to lie? Everyone should learn every lesson from every song immediately!

Hey there Hollywood, us autistic spectrum people all desire to be famous. To better as many of the pack as possible and eliminate the tense you put us in. Do you want a non blacked up autistic? Alien woman did a fairly good job but not as good as her daughter, Emily Hampshire (Vivienne) did in Snow cake. I am socially awkward but just as fun as Alan Rickman. :-D I will need my own kitchen while I am there but I care not for money past necessary food and entertainment! I do want a Barcroft #10 :-)

All so inevitable. I wish the reason for the word did not exist. I have to make you happy while you are torturing me to death now don't I? (for appearances) Not how I expected you would think of me, I thought you would let me die peacefully, not in turmoil... Not in CHAOS! Bloody money, bloody greed.

I have no choice, please understand. You provide the TENSE for me to be IN Anyone for Ping, Pong. (thanks all involved in the production of The A Word, it has taught me a lot about myself.)

Give me something to do that you won’t take away? Before I go insane? Please before, BEFORE!

If the truth offends you so much why are you not living true? rhetorical, we are all flawed! So what. I unlike lying politicians, certainly did inhale!

I am incredibly annoyed that things are only dealt with by crisis! I am in crisis now, thank you people NOT. Society is going to kill me now because I have not been greedy enough to be a successful capitalist! I cannot have a stair free home until I fall down them and have a costly hospital stay. My balance aint' great. You are useless at capitalism. I am confused. Us autistics find the world confusing? Dream on you pompous idota! With a kitchen that is mine to control I can live independently, without one you are killing me and I will cost you money while you torture me to the place you would prefer I was not driven mentally, I only need a kitchen. This is falling on deaf ears! It is why I am recording it here for the inquest! Who was incompetent? I don't care you hate the language! You are pretending! Not to see! It is torture that will end in death. I will be leaving when the weather warms up, I have no choice! This place I am made to call HOME{I do not), sees a landlord around all of the time as he wants his investment to go smoothly! Save yourself some time dude, convert it to flats, greedy! I cook in my room, does that get me outta' here? I was handed a set of rules AFTER I moved in that if I had been shown before I would A) Not have moved in! and B) Not have already broken them by putting the coat rack on the door! The people that charged me money to inspect one room did not operate the curtains! As they are full height, and do not function properly, I risk falling everytime I operate them! Only a wardrobe and drawers in here. Go figure! Can I have my hundred pounds back please? Why so much incompetence Plenty of you profited from my skills and generosity, where the FFF are you now I be double ill? (I like the chav thing maam, no disrespect intended, don't invite coffee mate, he's chav milk :-D) How can you blame me? Energy equals the mass of object travelling at the speed of light squared, your boxed thinking would've amused Einstein when he found out squared was the answer! You do not want to see me angry. Why are you torturing me? Nuclear is just scratching the surface! Why do I have to endure your sense of things now I am ill? 0.318 IS THE UNIFYING THEORY OF EVERYTHING! Do you see me yet or do I need to create a weapon of mass destruction? Can you see why I am angry you stupid people? Yeah I said people! :-D

I genuinely hope autism is an evolution. That soon there will be enough of us to stop this cruelty. We are out here and watching, reading the clues, waiting for there to be enough of us. We instantly recognise each other’s work and seek it out. One day, "just like that" we will say STOP! NOW!! You non autistics are doing an incredibly bad job at sharing, with your dysfunctional systems of class and cruelty, pampering to the frightened greed of those with more than enough already! Excuse my penchant for the dramatic but to you I say, we are coming, we already look after your computers! Logic will win eventually but why are we not trying now people? Jihad terrorism is anti-greed! Do you see? I am afraid you do not. It will continue to escalate without radical change. I know you do not like change but it IS inevitable, do you want to manage the changes or let someone else?

Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle did an excellent job of documenting Asperger syndrome through his fictional writings. His characters were all elements of his personality. Sherlock was his core being, an investigator, John Watson the doctor was his professional career and Moriarti the arch nemesis, his testosterone. Sherlock was easily irritated by the sheer incompetence of man and enjoyed mind expanding drugs, his mind palace was however rationalised by Sherlock's brother Mycroft who knew the mind palace was a memory trick and in actual fact, drugs merely tapped into subconscious memory! Mycroft tried always to provide his core being with much needed things to do as boredom was intolerable and would result in higher drug usage. His professional career was always disappointed by the drug usage. Mrs Hudson was his maternal influence and self carer, the will to feed and water himself and she furnished him with the desire to have a home. A place that provided freedom to pursue his obsessions. He gave Watson a wife to keep that element of his personality sane. She was called Mary in honour of his mother, a name he also later gave his daughter. The chequered past of the female characters provided much loved drama. Sherlock of course was unable to resist a puzzle that required solving. Elementary! At the time of his writings Scotland yard was the symbol of order amongst the chaos so inspector Lestrade was born. Sherlock admired the tenacity of the police even though they were made up of incompetent men. He often told Lestrade they were incompetent and that Scotland yard was slow and inferior. The woman, Irene Adler was the only woman Sherlock could love because she was gifted with intelligence not seen in the general population. She was protecting herself from physical harm with the collection of information. When Sherlock eradicated this protection on behalf of a client, she retreated to what had always made her feel safe. Music. This woman Sir Arthur could only fantasise existed, his intellectual equal.

As this word sculpture is part of my self discovery, can someone tell me why I consider the world more important than Mrs Hudson? Why I didn't ensure she got a lines in the art of my life? Why she is still not getting lines even though my health is deteriotating? This question was why I pursued the assistance of a psychiatrist. He fancied my princess though so his testosterone got in the way of me receiving help from a supposed healthcare PROFESSIONAL.I gave my princess power of attorney so she was present at my appointment with a shrink. Why do I care about the world more than I care for me? I would happily receive the answer to this even if it was amateur. I not only want the answer now, I need it! Even an amateur opinion may lead me to the right path, I am after all an investigator. I will happily receive any information that anyone can provide that willl aid my investigation.

Prince, or reinvented eccentric dresser, Squiggle, surrounded himself with bouncers to protect himself from others testosterone. A highly skilled musician, he is an obvious Aspie! A lot of Aspie's turn to religion, I believe this is a way to minimise the frustration of the incompetence of mankind! If there is a god, something bigger, then the incompetence is part of a path to salvation. Tolerable!

We do not remember names well, not because of so called mind blindness, because like our coping mechanisms tap into our eidetic memory, we associate names with the people we have previously experienced. The name Sebastian for instance I accidentally associate with people, and even a cat, I do not like. This is from memory of a person called Sebastian that was a problem for me during childhood. The cat's name for instance is actually Sasha, but it is always a Sebastian to me! This flaw compounds our social awkwardness as people are offended if their name is not considered important enough to remember. I do not consider a persons name important as it can misrepresent them! Faces change with age and exposure. I always remember a voice, audio.

As an example of clues, can you tell me from what is written here in my sculpture how many channels I think the BBC should operate? A fellow Aspie will read all my clues as par for the course. Abusing grammar communicates more :-) Bill Turnbull has retired. Long live the grammar :-D I am starving to death in this western world of greed! How come? I am intense I apologise but I am surrounded by tense! How do I not be in it? Music used to make me safe, now it puts me in danger! I only need a kitchen. I want a bit of garden and, and, I am only trying to get what I need, not what I want. I need to function. I NEED A KITCHEN, 'tis all. If I have to die to ensure the Aspie's behind me are not tortured then so be it.

There is not enough to go around so we should be sharing. Back to greed, how do we control it? What is love? Is it sentimental reason with logic, was passion greed gangnam style? for me it was yes, is yes. Your father was a copper as well as your dad I have seen him guess, and all them e hem cigarette ends. Not roll your own like I smoke. Although my offence did not involve a car it did involve a computer. I took what I had built for her, toiled hard for graduation, little money. I rebuilt i tin a day I'm good with IT, did I mention? She never told anyone why, I was simply the bad guy. I am still that stable boy in the moon princess. Can I have my dancer now? She has done the world good, provided for many, my dancer is tired, my dancer needs ME. Can I have my dancer please? She is a trophy, but not for the race of greed. Please, please pretty please can I have my dancer, please.

Can someone please wake up my dancer? she is an idiot. She is lacking professional experience.
Do cigarettes do this?
I am sick, I am dying, can I please have my dancer now princess? You eluded to promise, does this mean you have won? whatever it is you are winning? If it is so then where is you or I? You are letting true love pass you by! Dismal, Or do you not love me. Was it just I Technical?

Why do people take from me and then complain I didn't hand them it right?

I am greedy, it is an emotion I hate. I have acquired myself more food than necessary at the moment as I cannot eat properly. I am enjoying deflecting the frustration of my failures upon mankind in furious anger. I know this is greed, I am ashamed. I have to tell you though, it is more important than you know.

I am sorry Morse I never understood the ize/ise thing. I is definitely bothered it makes me positively illiterate. No-one taught me is all and it is certainly not obvious! I not Oxford, nor chavey Cambridge neither :-D he he Goodbye cruel world I have not passion without hope! I lost will a while agoI did say... Do not specifically blame my escalation of my own thought on anything else than yourselves as a whole... YOU PROVIDED THE TENSE I jumped IN - I CANT FIX IT! YOU WONT LET ME! I want it be what it is, Ok. I did say, that’s how it works? What works? I DID F....ING SAY, I am whole I think, am I Bill? Do you forgive? Worse than a modern apology just plain surreal :-{ blah blah blah! No time for commas in more ways than one :-) Makes me dream of what I cannot always get, yes.
Since I wrote this it has been explained to me that simply, ize is rebellious American and ise is original English. I do find it amusing when stuff I don't know is simply binary :-D I should also correct "I did say", I did not, I communicate by osmosis, I wrote :-)

Money is the absolute embodiment of greed. I consider those with money to be doing nothing more than jumping up and down saying, "look how greedy I have been, aren't I clever?" (CHAV MOMENT NOEL, I still have my badge in a draw somewhere, didn't do collages and shit :-D) Oh my gosh, No.
Badge away; It is the reason old responsible money does not like new money! Wake up people.

I would have collected money if the circumstances were different I know. I lost my father to death at just two. My mum was stolen from me pretty soon after, she was doing the obvious work that pays cash in hand in the garden of England to get by after her loss, so the incompetent system, (social services,) stole her from me and my brother! I was expelled as a primary school student because my maths teacher was sacked. (Quite possibly because he was setting work for me outside of the curriculum!) My hunger for maths was/is huge. The new one, well she did not believe I had already completed all five SMP* levels already and tried to make me start at level three. I have an eidetic memory and could answer the question before it was fully spoken as a result, so I crossed my arms and refused, too boring and a waste of my life in my opinion!. Thanks to this one event I was denied further education by opportunity. Pretty sure that should not have been my fault at ten years old, I am still told it was. I am awake, and slightly angry :-)

I wish to add; "we used to define ourselves as rich or poor based on trophies of greed," to Benjamin Zephaniah's list of why the world needs troublemakers. If he would grant me the honour should I be lucky enough to wake up people in abundance. It is today’s obvious missing component in mankind’s evolution

The customer is not always right, in fact it is lacking professional experience by proxy of it being a customer... Why do we have to lie?

I am a pack animal a pacifier proud. I do smell when I'm not cared for. Does anybody care. I have attacked our health-care as I have been dying for a year, my toenails have not been cut longer than that. Too dangerous, can’t see. Does anybody care about a single man? I don't want to use a phone, too linear. Too blinkered.
Since I wrote this I am able to now properly digest food and my toenails have been cut by a friend that read this. I am still waiting to see a gastroenterologist! The eventual appointment will now waste the time of the specialist! Go figure! I do believe that a fully free nationalised health system is failing patients! We live in a capitalist environment, fully free deprives us of a market of excellence, it should change.

We are pack animals living on the Petri dish of random life and death, why are we letting mental screw ups become its own entity? We love sex and a good shit, so summit what! We should talk about it. Me, You, Barack, Vladimir, Xi, cut that short to not offend, sorry Dave. Let us talk about why the packs aint' gettin' on. Why aren't we sharing? Really, why are we not sharing? It will not increase or decrease the chances of clean underwear on the day. We all sweat, piss, shit and masturbate. We have all harmed another human being. What is so scary? What could be so scary? Sex and harm at the same time? Or just plain NO ignored? I am visually impaired by MS, thanks to autism I will never be blind. Why do we not talk?

Can we learn from George Orwell's learning please??? No cameras in the home!!! Cameras outside the home will protect us from harm. No need for cameras inside the home. Too much footage to look through for one, masturbation is unpleasant to watch for two. Privacy we do know is important for three. We like things in three's.

I enjoy putting the spider in the bath in mortal danger and then saving him just before death. How cruel of me! I am thankful I consider humans more important. I try to save him, you get my point?

I AM ROARING, do you hear me? i yes I Technical, master of flow :-) what do ya reckon so far, low testosterone, almost blind, almost no legs. No car. Google how far along is ya? I know Billy told her, why I am gonna' try for an uptown girl. It's true princess :-D )

Do you want to know why we avoid eye contact? Because we see you and YOU ARE UGLY. This sculpture is in My eyes, Yours?

Do you want to know why we love music so much? Because we understand what every tone and every combination of tones, means emotionally. What every missing tone means too! Listening to music cycles us and you through the whole range of emotions, because we are more sensitive to emotions and sounds the persistent cycling makes us feel different all of the time. Makes us feel safe! Being able to ignore you, focusing our senses on what we know, helps too :-)

It is Ok though, we have the instincts of all life. To choke our neighbour to ensure our own survival. I understand why the classes were created, just we are done with all that now surely? we have the Internet now and everything, SHARED KNOWLEDGE three rules.


First step, go cashless and eliminate unrecorded transactions. Make the theft of money impossible!

You are only happy needed, just not so happy to be needed. That compounding of thought this line invoked, it's called glee. (I am suspecting only those capable of deep thought are actually reading this)
I know I ask great things from you all, this life, not next.
Please get rid of money. For mankind’s sake, please get rid of money?

Which way round is the pain? Was my terpsichorean beauty my devil, or my DESIRE for her. F.. greed. Did she covet me with the same eye I wonder? I hope so. Did she just see my IT skills at the right time? Did I let myself be lead by the nose in the hope I would be granted her beauty full time? I am the wisest fool alive today. Unless she phones me, Please learn from me? The journey to the loo is getting too difficult, not long to wait. I can't communicate, Learn from me? There's plenty of 'em in me. Good'ns that is, trust us? A Mrs Hudson as my nanny? Only one devil, One Moriarti, Damn it's me....

Death doesn't hurt, it is the life sucked out of you that hurts.

I could be good at this, maybe great, no can't be bothered. Sound familiar to you? Michelangelo and his beauty ratio...

I know how to end my life by thought alone! I had to scream when I found out, to enable others to distract me, else I would've gone. I will not divulge how as nobody, truly nobody! Wants to know this terrible thing. I have to not think it because I will lose the argument at the moment. Why does the system not care now? Before it screws me over? There has been plenty of warning! MS in me has been known about for a sufficient number of years. Why no plan? Penny pinching by government departments now, is going to cost more! The only way I could of not been a burden upon society is to be cared for before I was homeless or die. Unsurprisingly my rent will not be available on rent day... I am tempted to die very publicly, just the art would benefit others and not me, selfish of me :-\ I hate money. I hate greed! The worst part of all this is I am expected to not be ill while I sort out being ill!!!!! I do hope the government stops ranking a few pounds over my life! My landlord is not going to accept a reduction is he? Why is none of this joined up?!?! Why do I have to suffer hardship? My condition is not blaggable, the damage to my brain and nervous system is easily visible on an MRI. If the numbers for national insurance are not right, why are they not changed? I did not consciously choose multiple sclerosis or autism for that matter! Why am I being made homeless?

Money cannot fix the problems it creates! It is a virtual device. WAKE UP! This invention should be changed!

Why is everyone incompetent?

Do you know what happens to creatures that over populate? They swarm! Are you ready?

I refuse to think as shallowly as you do and I am definitely not apologising for being autistic! If people thought past their own desires, they would realise just how incompetent they are, and perhaps learn? I wish an adult Aspie had told me what little you people know when I was ten. Would've saved me a lot of pain, not to mention others... elementary my dear Spok, where's House? My brain is shrinking. Help?

I have discovered I am trying to make my peace, I, like Jacob on his ladder was seeing demons tearing my life away for a while there. I do not believe in any god, good and evil exists without one! Exists within us! The concept is relevant. Excerpt from the movie;
if you're frightened of dying and... and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. It's just a matter of how you look at it, that's all. So don't worry, okay? Okay?

I need a kitchen that is mine to control, I am currently living in a bedsit where people seem to stalk loo roll and washing up liquid. They also steal things like kitchen roll. All inexpensive stuff, but not theirs. It means my internal tracking systems (coping mechanisms) are screwed over by someone thoughtless. They could get their own, anxiety free for less than a quid! Idiots! I have a near photographic memory (Eidetic), I know if someone has used my pepper grinder for instance. Not intended but I can still see the original position of the discoloured peppercorns. It is most frustrating that the importance of an ASD sufferers coping mechanisms are not respected by non autistics. Please change, you are torturing people because you are less observant and do not need to process as much information. You do not need coping mechanisms. Not everyone thinks as little as you! I have been born ten years too early to be treated humanely as is evidenced by my life. The torture I am suffering now will be against the law in ten years time! It is autistics that will save mankind from its greed. Think! Because we remember. The only reason you are imposing your inferior logic on me is because currently, you idiots outnumber us. That will not be true soon, have you noticed there are far more autistic children these days? It is not you becoming more aware, pompous of you! It is changes essential to the survival of the species. It is an evolution! Wake up, you aint' got long...

I am not without a kitchen by choice! I had a home I liked but capitalism does not respect the tenant does it, the property owner is master! Why are buy to let properties not protecting the person that will actually do the letting? I was served notice on my home whilst the effects on my health of accidentally chemically burning my sinuses were major. Then that cascaded further and made me an unreliable employee! My boss was already struggling with sanity as he had done nothing about the fact that without me, there was no business, nothing to sell. He mistakenly thought an apprentice needed to learn sales not technical! Surely the first rule of sales is HAVE SOMETHING TO SELL! Go figure. He accused me of single handily taking down Contec, I had to resign, it was the only honourable thing to do. The business is now closing. I am in the only ground floor affordable property for the deadline imposed on me. Please can I have my own kitchen people?

My teeth are killing me, I really do not want to give more money than I can afford to selfish dentists that save themselves work at the expense of my pain. They deliberately do not fix things! I am going to have to though, why are teeth not considered part of healthCARE? Britain is world renowned for this failure. Why aint' it fixed yet?

*SMP Simple Mathematics Projects was a trendy education tool of the early eighties. Maths on audio cassette in brightly coloured boxes.

PS: Dear shrink,
Why is mental health not looking after my mental health? Treatment was terminated by your decision on only the second visit, before you saw the patient! Incompetent! And then the patient acted strangely, you were shocked remember? anyway we be done here, carrying on with my original thinking...... Incompetent! Your box, you created it!
Needing a kitchen is not a scam attempt at a house! All of my coping mechanisms are consumption orientated, as you have failed to record in your report. (I assume because it is not important to you?) Because you think differently does not at all mean you are right! If you were THERE WOULD BE NO CRUELTY HAPPENING NOW! Would there? We would rise above animals and it would not matter who can beat who up. I would not have sought a psychiatrist to blag a house. I take it you missed stairs are a problem for me anyway? I sought a psychiatrist because I am struggling to cope and nearly died by thought alone. My home, my job, my girl. All gone almost at once, all routine gone and everyone insisting things of me with their inferior logic and lies, nice you noticed. I also have primary progressive multiple sclerosis, which for an Aspie acutely aware of body functions is most confusing as my entire nervous system is sending me incorrect signals. No sexist joke, my wiring is f'...ed. The government is paying four hundred and fifty pounds a month for me not to have a home. If the cold would not kill me I would have left already. Leave me alone now, take back your hand. I do not want to be dragged down where you are, you are ugly and you are letting testosterone drive your illogical decisions! WAKE THE FFF UP.

Says me being arsey! I should take my own advice!! You did really offend me thinking I was shallow enough to pursue some sort of greed. As for the borderline personality disorder thing I can tell by the words strung together this requires a non autistic boxed thinking. Define personality? :-) I have been socially awkward since year dot. If there was a borderline I have never been aware of it. I tend to re-arrange anything I consider not in order, if I am allowed. :-) Does that help? I am actually thinking schizophrenia as I am seeing the people in my gallery, (mind palace in Sherlock's words,) getting prevalent in my external representations. I believe the audience in my head is part of autism, it has always been there and Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle's work proves this, his characters were his gallery. It is why we are always performing even if there is no-one in the room to see. I do not know if I am losing sanity but the gallery take over when I cannot handle it now. This is new, they were always only an audience to me before, not personality locums. I am scared and deliberately keeping the hardest member of the gallery alive in case I need his testosterone. He would have been killed off ordinarily! In memory of Arthur I have always called the hardest member Moriarti :-D he he. Does this help? You quite obviously do not understand autism, how many others on the autistic spectrum have you misdiagnosed borderline personality disorder after only one hour asking questions? We struggle with oral communication, do you even know that? I do not want to retract what I have already written, it would taint the documentation of my struggle. Your testosterone thing wound me up, I apologise and I do thank you for alerting me to the speaking as a child thing. With that information and watching the BBC's production of "The A word", I learned what I did not previously know. I thank you for that at least. I would like to request you get a better understanding of autism as I came very close to being yet another homeless nutter!

I should add to this that I have recievedd a letter claiming your report, the one that misdiagnoses me and does not include many details the patient revealed! Was "clearly detailed!" It then goes on to overuse the word agreed without my input whatsoever! The crux of the letter states that my mental health does not need treatment from mental health! For one I disagree, many reading this may concur. I am being tortured at the moment, I could do with advice on how to tolerate! I guess mental health is too stretched in our inferior nationilised health system! Incompetence that is adding to my anxietes! Makes the MS flare up, makes me iller.

It just occurred to me it is unlikely I be schizo, I know plenty. They get proper psycho, (real ones don't mind that language, to anyone cringing,) even dangerous on marijuana! They know to avoid the drug. I have never had a problem, quite the opposite. Not even super skunk with hardly any CBD a known active ingredient that reduces psycho activity. I have always contended that a high dose of THC will show you if you are susceptible and this radar is useful! I personally think why not find out early in life if you are. Fore warned is fore armed. I am embarrassed I forgot. I have not taken marijuana lately thanks to being able to buy Chinese chemical replacements without visiting nasty drug dealers. (They don't mean to be nasty, just the whole illegal thing sponsors that.) I think I will now pursue some good old plant partner green and see what it does for me. Usual lazy hippy, solve the universe mode or stabby psycho. Then I will know, I will report back... Maybe the Chinese chemicals have done damage, if that is so then my honesty will increase shared knowledge of what I agree should be illegal. Why do you not legalise the natural herb? No-one would want chemical replacements if you did idiots. Less people using alcohol too as a result! No brainer! Why complicated? How can Chinese chemical shit be possibly holding up medicines?? Dextromethorphan or codeine the strongest non prescription medicines available, abusable only if you want to robotrip! (turn stupid!) Sounds intricate :-\, sounds like lying politicians! What will happen to this trade agreement with China if we leave Europe? Oh no?? sarcastic emoticon. Why is not the trade agreement preventing legal highs anyway? Why does the WTO not restrict them? Are you stupid? They are marketed as leisure products, this alone should be enough to make them illegal. The obvious lie of not for human consumption is just that, an obvious lie! I see Obama is overstepping his mark as he is powerless to stop guns in his own country. You want our culture dude not we want yours! I do not believe in a god but you do, why are you not stopping someone getting elected to power inciting religious hatred? Your worshipped texts say that around now whilst in the reign of the last pope, the Antichrist gets elected that way! Wake up! You looked heartfelt that you could not stop guns! Why take down Winston? He could and did stop guns!! Kind of insulting for that reason dude, lest we forget. There must be less important busts to make way for a CIVIL rights campaigner? As part of being civil we do need to eradicate weapons of death! Harm to others, is harm to oneself.
No personal offence intended Barack, public examples are just that, very public examples! It is a huge shame that only one person saying what is obvious to them is ignored as incorrect! Shame your stupid people did not listen to you! I wish us Aspies already outnumbered the stupid. Will you join Aspies Unite! Barack? I know you are... Speaking of stupid people, and on the robotripping thing, for those that are! Ignorance is bliss but it deprives you of dealing with complications beyond your control! Wake up!

UK Time, 19:06 12/06/2016, well said dude!

08/07/16 Imagine if Martin Luther King had been provided his own room? You are president dude, reallocate a room or build an extension. Put Winston back please? I want you to respect great honour from all sides. Your civil rights campaigner is a important example to the world, be proud. Be very proud. Guess what, you are flawed too! It is still not to late dude, get on with it?

24/09/2016 Today I learned the National Museum of African American History and Culture will be opened to the public this weekend, a project I was unaware was in motion. I do however urge you Barack to still consider dedicating a room to Martin Luther King so that Winston can be reinstated. Important political decisions in your country are made in a building called the Whitehouse, there is valuable symbolism in politics constantly reminded of a civil rights campaigner. The civil rights of all people being important in politics. Think about it?

Hitler was Asperger too, stop torturing us please? You will not like us angry. No-one wants another Hitler including me at the moment. It is the very reason we consider patience a virtue. Tolerate, it is what we are doing, I have a warm bed but no home. You are making toleration hard. I need a kitchen that tight people cannot interfere with, my tracking systems sees me in stock always. So I pay for everyone and the universe is not in synch if I relax. Not fair! Exploited by greedy's siempre. You value property apparently, why do you steal from me then? Help? I am proper confused. Oh wait, yeah I have to wait, national health. Wait! And wait! Waiting is not fixing. It's stalling. I appreciate Asperger was not in shared knowledge when I was four but stalled since I was expelled from primary school at ten. I have to tolerate there is a waiting list to be diagnosed. I am 44 this year, so forty years waiting already. By the time you diagnose me I will be dead twats! So proud of a nationalised health system. (ironic emoticon)

My name is even indicative of autism. My parents were country and western fans and I was a quiet baby that did not cry to the point of panic by nurses at birth. Jarrod was the name of a quiet character in either Bonanza or High Chaperel so I got the name.......... Diagnose me please? I have been asking since I was twenty four and got a job in computers. I need it now, not just want it. You are in breach of NICE guidelines for quite a few years now to not. I am sure the guidelines were well considered. Why do you people not do what you are instructed by your authorities to do? Why is your authority not reprimanding you for your failure?


Or shall I scientifically start a master race that will not be incompetent? DNA, I am excited. If there is data we can change it. :-) I perfectly understand Hitler's greatest desire. In an effort to help you normal’s to understand autism; I would like to permanently fix consumption for instance. Get it all done and finished so I do not have to waste my time catering :-) to it. I WASTE a lot of time pampering to consumption, just like Einstein eradicating the time wasted choosing clothes I want the same for all liquid and solid digestion. I know this is scientifically impossible and defies the logic of pleasure, let alone life, but I need the world to be better NOW NOW NOW. Please? I am seriously running out of time. Is it instinct? I think it is, I need to better the pack but the pack doesn't hear me. Frustrated! Should I kick the ultimate addiction of oxygen? You made me quit smoking for lies so why not oxygen? I am tempted. Does that help you understand? You should be utilising the brain power of autistics, we do not understand the conclusions you come to compounding thought. You are irrational so we cannot empathize. We are not mind-blind we can see exactly what you are thinking easily. We just do not empathize with your conclusion, it is stupid! Telling you offends so we shut the f... up We know you like "out of the box" ideas, we live outside of any box your thinking imposes! We enjoy dressing eccentrically so you know who we are, but you are too self obsessed to think we are right or even notice! Your opinions are not right, you know very little. Turn on the news, all that horrible stuff is you being stupid. "Come and see all the oppression you are doing to you!" So what, we do not care about you individually. Please do not make us demoralise you as a group assertively(abgsert ya :-D), we care about the pack. NOT YOU. Deal with it, really. Deal with it! We care about the pack, NOT YOU! We are primarily altruistic, you are primarily egoistic. Simple. It is all binary...

Ok, reporting back. The plant partner does indeed just put me in drippy hippy, fix the universe mode I am glad to report. :-) My sanity is actually disturbed by nothing more complicated than MS (Not that that isn't intricate :-D) I am less able to keep up with all my tracking systems(coping mechanisms.) and of course I am currently being tortured! I know you will not like that language but no kitchen to control really is torture! Bedsits should be illegal I will do something about that! I received a letter today from an occupational therapist telling me they will write to me soon!?!@?!?? So they can come and see me in my bedsit! Why? Do you think I am lying about a shared kitchen or a flight of stairs to the bathroom? This is just blatant stalls. Meanwhile still in torture... Please wake up people!

I looked up Hans Asperger today for the first time. Yeah, definitely no doubt. I am a thoroughbred Aspie. I also now understand that you non autistics really do not see. Dear shrink, this is my opportunity to better the pack, I can tell you what Asperger is by calling it Jarrod's syndrome, or Prince's (RIP dude), Or Arthur Conan-Doyle's, or Michelangelo's or... On and on. Do feel free to ask of me what you do not understand. Keep your boxes away ideally. To all autistics I implore! The people that are saying they know how it works are lying! They do not. If they did, it would be fixed! Anyone that suspects they are autistic, I implore! Stop believing your doctor, they are as fallible as us all. Prince died undiagnosed! Stop taking the suppression medication. You can do more!!! Mankind is dying, it needs fixing!

I am winding people up now, apparently while I am listening to music as if I had a choice for dealing, I phoned the police in advance to highlight! A home! I did say! Welcome partially to my world selfish bastards! Do you get my point yet? I no longer care, take the bedsit away!! I do not want it anyway It is shit!!.Prison does not scare me it is not a real deterrent for me, you never gave me a life anyway so the difference? I already met them Do you realise? Shallow twats I bet you do not!! Is that why the door is not kicked in yet? The pain for the thieves that live with me? Do they see yet! I REALLY DON'T CARE, DO YOU? =I am more patient than you angry :-D slightly angry :-)
This paragraph was a particular crisis for me, I have to hear all their plastic phone calls and noise indescressions! My hearing is superior, they can hear mine sometimes! As a skilled pacifier I have told, during others conflict, some of the hardest people in the country. To shut the FFF up and sit down. They obey as a way out of the conflict they too are not enjoying! I can sense the chemicals our moods emit.

As of yesterday 05/06/16 I have a kitchen! I am so looking forward to rebuilding my coping mechanisms, tolerating again! Thank you to both councils involved even though you were/are unable to not put me through even more chaos. I have had to sign a non legal document, (it does not contain all of the information I am agreeing to,) as one example! There are rules that are eluded to that I am not allowed to break! I definitely did actually say, no osmosis. The council worker apologised and told me he needs the signature anyway!
These rules that were not provided include not making any noise leaving or entering the building any time of the day or night. My mobility is reduced and I cannot get my mobility scooter in or out of the difficult door in any way easily. I will be breaking that one!
This document I have signed is part of homeless prevention but it makes me agree to being made homeless within twenty four hours if I break the rules I have not yet seen all of! This again cannot be legal! Bloody chaos! Still I have a kitchen that is mine to control now at least :-D Toleration is coming, no need for a god. I will appease Moriarti myself!

I am intense, I am acutely aware! It is your tense however I am in! The world does need to be saved, to be fixed! Now really do, share all you know with everyone and do not let anyone go homeless or hungry. Greed is a chain reaction, money is not adequate at controlling it. It is assisting! All the mega greedy, arms dealers and terrorists included, have cash stashed away! If we scrap it and do not accept it, the terrorists cannot buy guns and kill people! Moriarti's(testosterone) everywhere will be controlled! Will be appeased. Wake up and start sharing! It really is the world's best kept secret. As a valuable member of the pack to me, I realey want YOU happy. If you are happy, so am I. Selfish of me :-/ I do so wish the world was not as stupid as it is!

I'm riding on a dolphin, doin' flips and shit, this dolphin's splashing, gettin' everyone wet. Well this ain't sea world, this is real as it gets, I'm on a boat, motherfucker, don't you ever forget!

30/06 Last night, someone stole Flippy :-( I only just named him. He is only worth 350-400 quid in good condition. There is more money than that in damage to repair, please can I have him back? I am quite attached to him.

Get the fuck up! This boat is real!!! No wonder they left, (the dolphins that is,), you are welcome for all the fish :-D he he


As the proud mother of a 10 year old amazing aspie (who also has rinaulds and hypetmobility) I can say that I can relate to your comments and agree. The Dr's and health care professionals are clueless about Aspergers and Autism. It is deemed that my child (because she is articulate and highly intelligent) does not require help. No, she doesn't need extra tuition. She could likely educate her educators! But, where is the support when she is terrified about the future. She was ill for weeks will anxiety about the completion of the particle accelorator; the hadron
collider. I didn't fully understand it. She did. She lives in fear of Aliens. She said she knows theyll come and they won't be friendly. Her peers and many adults think she's odd. They never stop to think. She could be right. She likely is right. An Aspie meltdown is NOT a tantrum. She and others like her think far more profoundly that us "normals"
They understand and remember intricacies that we do not have the mental capabilities to ponder. I have forwarded some sections of this to my daughter. In the hope she will feel less alone.

Hi there (it would seem odd to me calling a mum retro anything :-)

I do so firmly believe that autism is an evolution and soon there will be enough of us to fully assist each other. We have heightened senses and it is these senses that are overloaded sometimes. I can see tragedy or trouble coming to people from one small sentence by them. Just as their tense becomes mine to be in, so does their fears.
Please tell your daughter that finding the Higgs boson in the Hadron collider was a very significant event that will save us. Not only will it enable us to create replicators like those seen in Star Trek it will enable us to travel to colonisable planets. We are desperately over populated already, this discovery has arrived in our lifetime! We should definitely be proud.
I also believe we will undoubtedly meet other lifeforms once we start travelling but that will not be for quite a while. Just like meeting a frightened deer in the woods there may be mistakes in communication that increase fear and fear reaction. Provided we have sorted our own back yard and greed is not the primary driver, we will easily overcome this.
My advice to you as mum is to recognise when demand avoidance has a higher priority than anything else, your daughter will never be able to stop the roller coaster of anxiety and depression without tranquilisers anyway so medical help is almost irrelevant. This roller coaster provides light bulb moments too though, highly valuable. She will learn to spot the onset as time goes on, and learn to avoid the triggers, avoid pathological demand :-)
Thank you for leaving a heartfelt comment, it is highly appreciated.
I also need to add the Higgs boson discovery will lead to a new energy source being discovered that will replace the poisons we are using at the moment. It is a truly mammoth discovery.

I am adding this comment to clarify a disparity between us Autistics and those that are not... What I fail to comprehend is why I am not allowed to answer the question that someone asks me. I am often told it was impolite! I do not understand why it is impolite of me to answer a question I am asked. I do not want to lie "why do we have to lie?" Most of the time an answer is required by the person asking. So I answer honestly, surely if I tell a musician he needs to improve this is good information for them? They would carry on playing badly if someone does not tell them! I definitely know this to be a fact. Why on earth would I tell them it was Ok for them to further embarass themselves? I do not understand why we have to stroke egos above and beyond what is correct. I hope this helps people see why we easily offend people. Surely they should hear? Rather than be precious? Pampering to their preciousness makes them continue their flawed behaviour. I definitely know this to be true. I consider it my failure when I do not tell people what is obvious to me. I hope this helps you mum and other parents.

In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity.
I'm not inclined to resign to maturity.
If it's alright, then you're all wrong,
but why bounce around to the same damn song?

Big it up for the Psych massive :-D and the Friendly Indians too...

Based on deception, learn how to bend.
Your worst inhibitions will psych you out in the end.

'Cause everybody lies, under anybodies skies :-)

Do you see the dichotomy of naivety yet? On the basis we are as of yet unable to create an Internet enabled device that is non exploitable within two or three months of deployment, why on earth roll out smart meters? Heating, lighting and hot water subject to Distributed Denial Of Service attacks. Alarmingly stupid. Worse still we will have to pay more money for devices supposed to save money. Initiated by financial incentives that some idiots are pushing to have the newest technologies now. Even those of us that will be refusing this technology on the basis of it`s not ready, will have to pay too.
"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance. It is the illusion of knowledge."
I advise all not to get a so called smart meter until hackers keen to show the world how clever they are, are given competetive infrastuctures to do this. At the very least until we can report hacking attempts as crime. IT people are suggestible and easily swayed, nerds are easily exploited by greedies. We will soon be calling them dumb meters.