I am just a poor boy and my story's seldom told. Just like Natasha, I was having a bit of trouble saying what I mean, with dead poets and drum machines. All these words both others and mine, are from my heart cryin'.
This website has evolved from non eidetic thinkers imposing their inferior logic upon me to the point of torture. Although the worst of the torure has passed, I consider this work to be an important monument. It is a journey through anger and out the other side. I do well at defeating my own personal Moriarti(devil)! This crisis I have been forced through meant it took longer for me defeat shorty than usual. It originally started as an attempt to maintain a career as illness saw me become an unreliable IT systems engineer. My salesman/boss was unable to function correctly without my skills long enough to allow me to recover from accidentally chemically burning my sinuses. This tragic event caused me to lose two stone from thirteen and a half down to eleven and a half stone in less than two months! At six foot five, this is weight I could not afford to lose. I should be thirteen stone two minimum for my height! The company was a small business and seemingly the other people working for it were unable to Google to find out whatever was needed to cater to the whims of its customers.
My home was taken from me at the same time as I have never liked money and was renting one. The owner could not afford a plumber apparently to fix a leak that was devaluing the property. I actually believe the letting agents, Leaders were applying pressure as the decor' meant they could not increase the rent!
The only choice of affordable property for me by the deadline was one that has a shared kitchen with six other households! I do not understand how this is considered Ok for anyone, let alone me an Asperger patient whose coping mechanisms rely on the stock levels of consumption. How on earth is seven households supposed to cook two or three meals a day in only one kitchen anyway? It is not Ok for people to live somewhere where they cannot feed themselves properly! The others that live there also hate it!
They too are not wealthy and steal from the said kitchen. This interferes with my coping mechanisms and unsurprisingly as a result I was failing to cope. I am good at cooking, very good, but MS makes movement difficult for me. As an Aspie my cooking is precise, an inability to get to the sink at exactly the right time for instance, because there are others to move around will ruin the food! Make it imperfect! I am unable to compete with others testosterone and just like Joe in "The A Word", I have to let them go first. My age and medical condition of course puts me somewhere between uncle Eddy's intensity and granddad's panic, with uncle Eddy's horrible wife's brutal honesty! Damn... One Moriarti. I now have a kitchen that I am rebuilding my coping mechanisms in, :-) thanks to all involved in getting me what I need, my princess and the key council workers. You know who you are. :-) I was unable to try to get what I need, I was unable to function. Now I am near my dear little brother. From my heart, thank you all so much. Can you get me what I want now and convince mankind to get rid of money? :-D he he Cheeky I know. I gotta 'aggle... Arthur's work alerted me to being ahead of my time :-) My desire for NOW is so huge.
I was angry, annoyingly! You people insist you are superior in knowledge and understanding of the world yet not being able to feed myself properly is Ok with you! WTF? I am gaining back my cheery disposition that I like, that you like. To quote another ASD sufferer with an adapted Ali G quote; Is it? Is it 'cause I is autistic :-D he he My whole life has seen me oppressed by inferior logic, I will not be the only one! You are surprised that radicalisation is increasing in popularity, I am not. The combination of anger caused by oppression and a lack of knowledge is a deadly cocktail. Not enough people are aware that harm to others is harm to oneself, we should be reaching out and helping all people, no matter their wealth or status. Education should be free to all of any age, any status, please change this now! It will prevent radicalisation I guarantee. Foreign aid that we do owe for past shame and exploitation, should be delivered as education infrastructures, not the exploitable money! Educating people around the world will eradicate the feelings of inequality that lead to radical actions. This should be our foreign AID! Our remit.
If there is any word or line in this word sculpture you do not understand, please Google it. I am not the BBC! I can endorse brand names if I want. I do not on the whole because I hate greed but Google are an exception. Back when it looked like Altavista were going to become the Heinz of search engines, I was using many different search engines to find education. Google technologies came along and I like many techies were saved tedium.
Do you know what the word civil really means? Please look it up. The denser we populate the more civil we, I included, need to become. We will swarm if we keep trying to beat each other! It is not everyone for themselves, it is all for all. Please learn? We are all flawed, so summit what! We can learn, learn like our existence depends on it. It actually does!
This word sculpture served as a sort of replacement coping mechanism(lots of words to keep track of :-) whilst I could not feed myself properly, it is my sincere hope that it will educate some of you as you are torturing people that have a much greater understanding of the world than you will ever have. ASD sufferers coping mechanisms help us cope with all of the extra information we are constantly in receipt of. Just because you are not it gives you the right to interfere or even deny us these mechanisms? Selfish of you, please change! We are cheery and make you laugh when our coping mechanisms are working. Autism and Asperger syndrome are the same thing, the difference appears to be that us Aspie's are able to file and index all of the huge amount of information, non Asperger autistics cannot. However a non Aspie autistic can become an Aspie given the right conditions. I believe just as us Aspie's know to shut the FFF up when offence is risking physical harm that regular autistics are merely taking this to extreme! A kind of locked in syndrome. I did not speak when I was very young, but not because I did not understand your simple language, it was because if I spoke it increased your anxieties and exposed me to even more of your tense for me to be in! Aspie's in general have suffered a childhood trauma that forces them to come out of the locked in. That is the difference.
Our hearing is superior, part of the extra information. We can also sense the chemicals our moods emit, I hate phones for this reason! I am deprived of this information over a phone. The phone does not transmit the chemicals obviously and it is poor quality audio! No smells are transmitted either. Prior to my eyesight deterioration from MS, and just like Sherlock. I could spot all of the tiny clues on your clothes, skin and hair that reveals where you have been! For a phone conversation to go smoothly for the other person, they require me to make instant decisions based on not enough information! That makes me feel manipulated! Our generosity makes us exploitable by greedy people. Those people like phones for that reason, they get what they want! Face to face they would not. Not from me.
I have taken back up smoking as the consumption of Rizlas has been my primary coping mechanism for many years. I get forty eight roaches from the cardboard of a Rizla packet meaning I know at all times exactly how many Rizlas I have left. I get six from the inner green cardboard and forty two from the outer blue cardboard :-D It amuses me that my roach system, in part is the answer to life, the universe and everything. And of course there is Zippo fuel and flints to control the consumption of. You wrongly are attributing smoking to the problems caused by oil based fumes we are all exposed to! Says me sucking down oil fumes every time I light a cigarette! :-D It is however the reason I notice after two days of not lighting cigarettes, we are ingesting a lot of oil. We are all flawed, so summit what...
The first three pages, along with the left hand menu were written once I had relieved my employer of paying me as I was ill! Sort of shouldn't happen should it, especially after over ten years of loyal service but my boss had lost money my skills made on a ludicrous property venture in Portugal. I have always been too brutally honest to be socially acceptable. The fourth page (Ban cars smoking) is an attempt to make you see sense on what is blatantly the cause of major health problems around the world. Cigarette smoking is wrongly being blamed for the oil based poisons we are all breathing! The fifth page (I am autistic) was the start of my anger that is subsiding now. It has not been edited linearly as I am able to keep track of all the words in this sculpture. I am leaving the words here as the whole site is imparting knowledge that will save the world once you realise it is your greed that is destroying mankind. Money was invented to control greed but it is now the object of greed! Cash and unrecorded transactions should definitely be scrapped, it is not an eradication of personal liberty to do this. It would reduce the amount of crime possible. It would prevent the rich exploiting the poor too! The rich, poor divide will lessen, will become more honourable, more honest.
There are English language imperfections, some of them deliberate, some caused by impaired vision, MS attacks optical nerves along with the rest of the nerve endings. English was not my favourite subject during the small amount of formal education you allowed me to have! Maths was :-D Some are ignorance too Bill, I am truly sorry for that. Without the rules of spelling and grammar it cannot be abused, long live the grammar.
Deliberate language error examples:
"Everything beggining Euro sounds trashy." This eludes to tighter regulated countries in the EU, such as us, the UK, will be picking up the bill for countries whose greedy residents exploited their lack of regulation. Their governments are poor! We will have to bail them out, when they come begging!
As you can see, a lot less words for one spelling error. :-)
If I take the U out of honourable, the honour becomes somewhat dubious! :-D I am not American! I am not using spell checkers dominated by Silicon valley pirates either. ;-)
I have also removed a syllable from the word voluntary to make it protest march singable! I really do not like the legal extortion money collection that funds the BBC. We are all proud of the BBC and most people will pay voluntarily! Can we choose not to watch the BBC if we go to prison for not paying? I seriously doubt it! If you encrypt the signal it is not TV for the people, just double the fee to buffer the poorest that truly cannot afford it. The quality education materials your programmes provide is highly valuable! Even though the propaganda of your media services, you are not yet getting right. We are all flawed! So summit what!
I do also refrain from using the term "European Union" to describe the trade organisation. I consider this term to be too much of an oxymoron on the basis of from it's outset, it caused division!
It is full of emotions that us Aspie's do struggle to understand as everything went at once. My home, my job and my girl! It is my hope that this word sculpture will aid understanding of autism as well as save the world from its greed. Before we swarm! Are you aware yet of how mental health is rapidly deteriorating? Most obvious during the new moon! Part of the extra information I am in constant receipt of. My eyesight degradation may be directly responsible for being able to communicate in writing what is happening to me. I am in receipt of less information than I have been all my life.
The A word
The Imitation Game
And of course, all Monty Python movies
12/10/2016 I have decided to end the snapshot of an autistics head before the result of the American elections. Seeing as I consider that a lose/lose situation my anxieties will go through the roof! Just one request and one emplore to go. First the request; can people stop believing they are clever by mispronouncing both of my medical conditions? Hans Asperger was Austrian, his name is pronounced of German origin, not French! Multiple Sclerosis is trendily being pronounced as a Scot would because we had a Scottish prime minister (Gordon Brown) come on television to discuss MS. This was because the petition that our campaigning for CCSVI treatment saw the legally required number of signatures for response. You would not say sklerosis of the liver would you? It is the same word! My last emplore: To the entire International community I emplore; Please can we all sort out our own backyard before we tell others how they should be sorting theirs? Enforcing pathological demands on others causes conflict. We do know this, please stop pretending not to see the horror and death at the end of these demands?
I have to add because of Teflon society, some modified immortal Kid Rock lyrics:
I aint' no rough guy, aint' no tough guy, I do get out and I certainly enjoy dressing fly, I've been around, seen some things, I've slept in dumpsters, got high with kings. They say I'm cocky...
It was after all, just my life to me, I'm bloody right idiots! :-D Wake up! PLEASE?
There is a line I know from the mind of Colin Dexter in an episode of Lewis that I wish to expand on, seeing as calvery means good priest it may be religous! Once again I am not religous! Good/Evil exists within us!
On the road to calvery, in the garden of gethsemane I lost my way.
For what it's worth you cannot leave the garden without dying! Everyone alive has lost their way. I am endeavouring to be good, tis áll I can do. I can see the exit and like a flippin' hippy I am camped near it. Do you see me? Yet?
PS Do remember there are 195 other countries in the world, not just 27. The pound is falling in value because we are printing money! (quantative easing.) This is the primary cause not Brexit, lying bankers! Brexit is causing an expected temporary dip is all. Not anti-Brexit biased BBC's claims either! I do not understand why the BBC is anti-Brexit biased. Only Scotland voted to remain not England or Wales. Call yourselves SBC if you reckon that is what Britain wants. I would like you to remain British, why are you pushing against the people you serve?
15/10/2016 I feel I need to inform you all this sculpture is deliberately fractal shaped. Fractals are digitally enginereed to look organic but they are not really. It has many beginnings that lead to multiple ends and vice versa. I also wish to explain that I will keep updated my progress with the collaboration client. Right now I am still in temporary accomadation where I am not free to live. Lots of silly rules in case I am a blagging teenager just dodgin' ! At forty four now I am too old for that, plus I am quite ill. I hate chaos but I am being forced through some because society thinks I am not clever, after all I have refused to be greedy throughout my life and collect money. Shallow of society, shame on you! I will also keep updated my progress at recovering from MS. This has been delayed by chaos but I do only consider this a delay. I am unable to mind trick myself right now but this will not be true hopefully soon... I will of course answer any questions via comments or email. I also reserve the right to post my own comments, if I want :-)